Last night my baby girl was up every hour. She has her bottom teeth coming in and they are kicking her butt. She’s uncomfortable and irritated. She’s cranky, so when she wakes up, she cries. I get up every time she does. I feed her, change her, and usually she’ll go right back to bed; however, this time she did not. This time she just wanted me to hold her. Even though I was tired I held her. I rocked her and bounced her to try to get her to fall asleep. My eyes were closed as I rocked her, then I looked down and opened them. I looked at my baby girl staring right back at me. She was calm. She wasn’t upset or crying. She just laid in my arms staring at me.

I caressed her face as I sat there rocking her, looking into those little eyes of hers. I found myself talking to Jesus. I thanked him for that moment. For being awake at 4:30 in the morning rocking my beautiful baby girl. I was so tired. My back was hurting from being up, but I didn’t care. The only thing I felt was so much love. I thanked Jesus for the patience that I now had. I thanked him that I had her in my arms. I remember when I was pregnant with Ali Rae and I’d talk to her. I’d tell her I couldn’t wait to hold her and kiss her. Now I was doing just that. There was no need for complaining that I had to be awake with her because I had waited for moments like this one.

There are plenty of days where my kids make my brain rattle, but even on those days, I remember how lucky I am to be their mom. How blessed I am that I have a son who spills cereal on the floor and apologizes for it. How blessed I am that I have a daughter who spits out her food on me at times. How blessed I am that I get to hear the sweet cries of them both, yes sometimes at the same time.

In the midst of the craziness I want to pull my hair out and scream, sometimes I do, but I will start now remember how fortunate I am that I have such crazy in my life. So, Thank you, Lord, for the crazy and the clam. Thank you, Father, for the good days and the bad. Thank you that I am changing as a person to be more like you and because of that I am changing as a mother.

Thank you that I get to mold my children into the people they were always meant to be. Thank you for being in my life and the lives of my family. Everything I have is because of you Lord and I will remember that always. Even on the long days and rough nights remember how blessed you are to have those days and nights. Remember that God gave you these children and has equipped you for these moments.